I Need You To Fail, Please

"If we go through this program and it's the best thing in the world, smooth sailing, and no issues... That's good for us in the short-term, but in the long run there's a higher chance we're going to fall off"

If you've worked with me in the past, you have most likely heard me say this to you before you even signed up. I want chaos. I want structured chaos.

You've done the 1,200kcal meal plan.
You've done the fad diets.
You've done it all.

You succeeded at every single one of them, but where did we fall off? Why did we fall off? Where did we feel like we'd lost it all? Spoiler alert: "Soon as I stopped doing it, all the weight came back on"

How did you get good at your job?
How did you get good at anything?

Exposure. Failing. Learning. Adapting. Success. Repeat.

Note: If you don't know what this scene is or where it's from, I highly advise you to take 3 minutes to watch this video. Facing the Giants, Death Crawl Scene 

Considering where I've been and what I've achieved in such a short time, it's already a goddamn miracle. I wanted to give up too many times to count. But I didn't, and I'm not sure exactly why but I feel it was because I was just so sick and tired of feeling like shit all the time. A phrase I'm sure you're familiar with... 

Every time I hit a bump in the road, I wanted to give up. But, after punching something multiple times and screaming my head off, 5 minutes later, I was back in the chair and learning how to get through it. 

And guess what? That road bump came up again, and again, and again... Only this time, it didn't take me 8 hours on a Sunday to troubleshoot. It took me 5 minutes at lunch. 

I've been mentoring some Personal Trainers & Health Coaches on the side, and they've all asked me at some point, "How do you know all of this?" 

"Because I've fucked up that many times that success is just a habit at this point." 

I'm sure you can already tell where I'm going with this, but I'll ask the question. How does this relate to you? 

"Learn from your mistakes" is an incredibly powerful saying but I feel people miss-time the delivery of it. I don't want to hear about how my tripping and being face down in the mud is a learning opportunity while I'm face down in the mud.

Since I know most of you that follow me have a bit of a smart-arse tendency. I'll answer the question: "What if you fail just because you fail, you can't learn something EVERY time you fail"

Yes, you can and you do. Some skills that you learn don't have a tangible outcome. E.g. how to tie a shoe or ride a bike.

Most skills that you'll develop that change your life are going to be mental and you can't really see them tangibly change over time. Only when you look back years from now will you say "Remember when I used to fly off the handle at a moments notice? Now I just laugh at things?"

E.g. I was out for drinks with friends about a year ago. Someone was very animated with their speech and was talking to someone across the table, I asked if she wanted to switch seats and she said no she was fine. She bought us a round and after sitting down went back to talking to her friend and within 5 seconds, knocked my drink off the table and into my lap. Everyone was freaking out, my pants were soaked, everyone got napkins, and was super apologetic, and I just sat there and laughed.. 22-year-old Trav?

He would have lost his shit, flipped out, left the event, and let that ruin a friendship because he would have considered it an act of stupidity which is inexcusable.

So... The Mud Analogy...

You're going to fail. I want you to fail. I want you to fail so you can learn to pick yourself up with a smile on your face. Then when you know that you're okay, you're safe, and that life isn't over... THEN ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?"

I'm willing to bet you've learned a lot in your life that you're not exactly aware of. A lot of clients I've worked with now know how to manage their mental health symptoms and what to do to turn a 3-month-long episode into a 3-day or 3-hour-long episode.

Yes, it's frustrating having to fail and none of us want to do it because re-living the ridicule you received as a child for making a mistake sucks donkey balls.

But it's time for you to become the adult your inner child needs.

What can they learn from this?
How can you put them in a position to succeed later?
What do they need right now in this situation? 

It's up to you, you're the parent of your own life now. Nurture your inner child because as far as I can see, that never dies. It only gets neglected. And those who neglect their inner child end up becoming the poo stain on the underwear of the Karens in this world.

Don't be a Karen underwear poo stain.